Emily's Story: Regret vs. Risk

Photo courtesy of Emily Haruko Leeb

Photo courtesy of Emily Haruko Leeb

Emily Haruko Leeb is a Transformational Life & Business Coach. She is an advocate for self-love, self-acceptance and living your most epic life. She is also a singer/songwriter and her first album is set to release in early 2019.

When I think about what obstacle, challenge or question I had to face in order to live from my heart, I come up with four difficult things I had to address:

My addiction to marijuana.

Having two abortions.

Denying my desire to sing.

And asking for a divorce.

Without facing my addiction I would never have been able to build the business I am building or contribute to humanity the way that I currently am. I would still be carrying uber amounts of shame for being high all the time and never letting my true light shine through to the world.

Without having chosen to have two abortions in my early adult life, I would not be the mom I am today with the kids and lifestyle of my dreams.

Without acknowledging my passion for singing and my voice I would never have recorded my first album and been able to heal the wounds of my soul through music.

And without asking for a divorce, I would have been suffering inside a relationship that deflated me, that sucked me dry and I would have been living a life that others wanted me to lead, not the life I want to lead.

With all of these challenges, I had to seek support and I had to be willing to receive that support. The abortions, and particularly the second one, were rough. I had no one to support me even though I was living with my boyfriend at the time. I took myself to the procedure by myself and I took a taxi cab home by myself. My boyfriend carried on working and living as though nothing had really happened. I fell into a deep depression where I couldn't leave my house, let alone my couch, for weeks. I turned heavily to the weed at this time and was stuck in a cloud, unable to face what was really my life, my choices and my relationship.

I needed a community of people around me that understood my desires, and understood what was at stake in order to break free from my addiction and to find the courage to let myself sing and write and record. I needed people that believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself.

Community is paramount.

First though, I had to be willing to open up. I had to dare to suck. I had to bare my soul to people and even though it felt risky, I knew this was the only way to live my best life. I still practice this vulnerability on a regular basis and support my clients to do the same.

My biggest fear was that I would suck, that I'd be rejected, unwanted, abandoned, alone. This was all before I realized the most important relationship I have in the world is the one I have with myself. Once I realized that, I began to nurture myself. I began to accept myself fully. And I really began to love myself.

At my lowest points, I turned to drugs. I turned to infatuation. These perpetuated a downward spiral. Despite that I had done a lot of personal growth work early on in life, I had lost that momentum in working on myself. In my early 30s, I began to really get into personal transformation work, and began cultivating a better me through yoga, meditation, spiritual coaching, life coaching, business coaching and practicing a deeper level of vulnerability in all of my relationships.

This started the upward spiral. I fell off a few times and the more I did, the more I realized how important it is to find momentum in your personal growth and nurture it. I became more of my true essence -- the self I had always dreamed of cultivating -- and I'm not done. This journey isn't ever over until it's over. And even then I believe it's only our physical bodies that die. Our soul is on an evolutionary trajectory all on its own.

My advice to other women would be to slow down, like, really slow down.

Stop.

Meditate.

Don't spend energy on anything that doesn't lift you up.

Have the courage to be fully yourself.

Live the life and make the choices YOU want.

Never do anything for anyone else that you don't really want to do.

And be willing to go inside and learn to trust that voice that you know is aligned with your hopes, your dreams and your desires.

Get support, hire a coach, find a fellowship, a community or anyone that will support you and make sure they are aligned with the most optimal version of yourself that you can imagine.

You don't have to do this alone.

And you must learn to love yourself.

Learn more about Emily’s coaching business and music at:

www.emilyleeb.com

Facebook: Facebook.com/emily.leeb.9

Instagram: emily.haruko

LinkedIn: emily-leeb-acc-0b735776